The guiding idea behind the #ArtRhymes project is simple: think of an artist, think of a rhyme, then stage the photo. It is governed by the following rules: 1. Artists should be fin-de-siècle or later, with a preference for Modernists and Post-Modernists; 2. Rhymes should be direct (though I have allowed the occasional slant rhyme); 3. Photos should make use of ordinary household items, with a maximum budget of $10 per photo. Many thanks to my human and animal collaborators! Please click on any image to see full size images and captions in lightbox. You can follow the evolution of this project by following #ArtRhymes on Instagram.
Trying to buy back a boring woven with Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven
Seeing who's dopiest with Walter Gropius
Studying German with Cindy Sherman
Getting drooly with Dale Chihuly
Having a little noshka with Oskar Kokoschka
Playing/drinking a fifth, son, with Robert Smithson
Lazing on the couchenberg with Robert Rauschenberg
Peeking 'round the door with Henry Moore
Starting the new year with Edward Lear
Warding a demon off with Yuri Pimenov
Trying to rob ya with Francis Picabia
Reminiscing about Obama with Yayoi Kusama
A complaint to lodge with László Moholy-Nagy
Drinking our asses off with Viktor Vasnetsov
Reading Garp with Jean Arp
Adding the bitters with Kurt Schwitters
Watching the sun go black with Maurice Sendak
Being verbose with George Grosz
Getting sweaty with Alberto Giacometti
Following the muse with Diane Arbus
Making a valentine with Gertrude Stein
Seeing who's balder with Alexander Calder
Watching a goth show with Mark Rothko
Embracing my inner bitch with Marina Abramović
Going for a walkney with David Hockney
Voting for prez with Chucho Valdés
Misbehavin' with Dan Flavin
Giving a push with Constantin Brâncusi
Touching up my rootses with Gustav Klutsis
Picking up sticks with Otto Dix
Trying not to mock with Alice Aycock
Acting dorky with Arshile Gorky
Putting on a puppet play with Ed Ruscha
Engaging in folly with Salvador Dalí
Enduring weather that makes us all schvitz with Käthe Kollwitz
Anticipating doom with Mona Hatoum
Donning the hood with Grant Wood
Confusion's a sure one with Robert Irwin
Getting it wrong with Cai Guo-Qiang
Deeply swooning with Willem de Kooning
Trying to take a stand with Auguste Rodin
Contemplating man with Auguste Rodin
Course preppin' with Ilya Repin
Making spaghetti with Filippo Tommaso Marinetti
Voting in the primary with Richard Scarry
Struggling to tie us in with Olafur Eliasson
Tickling the wee bella with Frank Stella
Checking the clock with Georges Braque
A trip and a fall with Marc Chagall
Practicing "stay" with Ai Wei Wei
Rolling it in panko with Aleksandr Rodchenko
Putting it in to bake with Nam June Paik
Feeling phoenixy with the Kukryniksy
Getting primped with Gustav Klimt
Fishing with a lure with Anish Kapur
Learning to play with Paul Klee
Reading about Muhammad with Komar and Melamid
Popping a cork with Bjork
Working pro bono with Yoko Ono
Freezin' and quakin' with Francis Bacon
Rhyming art with Bradley Hart
Acting profane with Aladdin Sane (RIP, old friend)
Saying some "oys" with Joseph Beuys
Drinking tequila with Egon Schiele
Assise dans la chaise avec Pierre Boulez (in memoriam)
Listening to Mariinsky with Wassily Kandinsky
Holding a paw with Louise Bourgeois
Fighting decay with Man Ray
Bowling with Kara with Richard Serra
Singing basso with Pablo Picasso
Reading a story with Edward Gorey
Getting alcoholic with Jackson Pollock
Embracing the pomp with Marcel Duchamp
Toeing the line with Yves Klein
Eating a piece with Juan Gris
Playing the spoons with Jeff Koons
Feeling relief with Georgia O'Keeffe
Ready to go with Joan Miro
Eating berries with Shepherd Fairey
Hearing a rattlin' with Vladimir Tatlin
Scrubbing some ick with Lili Brik
Feeling hairy with Frank Gehry
Feeling obese with Henri Matisse
Preparing to gorge with Gilbert and George
Rubbing a belly with Ellsworth Kelly
Getting my bearings with Keith Haring
Seeing what's hollow with Frieda Kahlo
Cleaning the Jasper Johns
Putting the laundry in with Piet Mondrian
Tristan the Wonder Dog
I adopted Tristan from a no-kill shelter in Chicago in 2011, when he was about two years old. He had already been returned to them once, but I had no doubt he was the dog for me. In the ensuing years, he has proven a most philosophical and photogenic beast. When we moved to Portland in 2016, I began recording his adventures and his musings. Please click on any image to see full size images and captions in lightbox. You can follow Tristan’s continuing journey on Instagram at @Tristanthewonderdog.
Heckin most confusing game of tic tac toe ever.
Looks like housing prices are finally starting to fall!
I found these chairs and they match my fur, so I guess I have to take them home now. Helplessly carried along by the tide of fashion!
Four free skis, four Woofle feets--looks like I'm ready to go!
Winter in Portland is all greys and greens. With a touch of yellow doggo, of course.
Found: one Electric Kool-Aid Acid Elephant. If you are a Merry Prankster willing to take delivery, please get in touch.
Personally, I give zero fox about the holiday season. Apparently the neighbors feel differently.
Doing a little dance with a neighborhood cat. But we can't agree who will be Fred (both of us want to be Ginger).
Ya know, you hear that in Portland people grow strange things in their gardens for head shops. But this is not what I thought that meant.
Yep, I've totally nailed this whole sitting in an armchair thing.
Cover of my new hip hop album!
My favorite park is trying out a new look for the new year. Interesting choice, fren, but heckin cold on my toes!
Holy hell, somebody call an ambulance! It looks like Christmas barfed all over this place.
This is so not the singles mingle I had in mind.
I'm so excited to come home from boarding, I forgot how to take off my harness! Think this might make a good look for a superhero?
Fer crying out loud, Blizy. Duchamp was doing readymades a hundred years ago. Try something new!
I see this park is ruled over by a powerful Rabbit Deity. Hail to thee, o mighty god of the long ears! Thy servant Tristan the Wonder Dog awaits instruction.
Listen, Mail Man, I think if you leave it here with the keys in the ignition, it's arguably YOUR fault if I joyride all over the neighborhood barking out the window.
Semester's over, time to hibernate. Plz wake in spring (or in case of cookies).
Foggy with a touch of surrealism.
Whew, what an exhausting conference! So many people and papers and panels. Glad to get back to regular work, by which I mean chewing on my own butt.
Celebrating the last traces of autumn with a flaming little leaf hat. Royal Ascot, here I come.
And here I am without any spots at all! Guess I better park myself somewhere else.
Oh, heck!!! Trying to investigate this bag of tentacles, and I got my snoot stuck in an anti-theft device. Send help! And chimkin nuggers.
The intrepid doggie food critic approaches the unknown green substance with mild skepticism. Is it nori? Kale salad? A wood sprite's tutu? Only one way to find out.
Ohmgosh it's the patio version of crop circles! Heckin urban alien invasion.
It's not that I'm not happy for LA and all... but is it too much to ask that Portland gets a shoutout, too?
The rose in front of my building is convinced it might somehow still be summer. How poetic.
Oh good, I found the Canadian Embassy. Hello there! Do you offer Woofle Right citizenship? I promise not to chase your moose!
I'm glad to see the neighbors leaving these little Woofle napping stations along my route. It shows they appreciate what an important public figure I am.
I rolled around in the mud and got all muddy! OH, HECK. (heh heh heh)
Thanksgiving with beloved Hilary!
Oh good, a pie chart! But they left out my favorite flavor: old socks and kibble.
Never too early to start working on my beach bod! Anyone know how this thing works?
!Que Linda! I'm so honored by this personalized bench, I can't bear to tell them they got my name wrong.
Heaven! I'm in heaven!/ And my heart beats so that I can barely speak/ And I seem to find the happiness I seek/ When I'm out here chomping sticks amidst the leaves.
Perfect Saturday checklist: I've got my bed, my boen, my ball... but, oh no, where are the bagels? Hoomin, go fetch.
Best little piano bar in town!
So then my hoomin said, "This is probably not going to end well," and I didn't know what he meant, but I thought maybe it was time to bark at my sister.
You do you, little tree. Let your freak flag fly!
Color study: autumn feels.
Look, ma! I'm a re-tree-ver!
Oh, you have work to do? I weep for you, truly. Now, if you could hurry up and bring me some brioche, I have a nap scheduled in half an hour.
The ad said, "urban bear, independent, well-traveled, seeks equally furry companion for long walks, brunch, snuggles." I have to admit, this isn't quite what I was expecting
Getting myself together to audition for the role of Wood Sprite #3. How's my costume look so far?
Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose/ To the wild snuffling-boy in an hour so rude;/ And in the calmest and most stillest night,/ With all tennis balls and toys to boot,/ Deny it to a king?/ Then, happy low, lie down!/ Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
A little on the nose, don't you think? And I know from noses.
All us big orange happy bois are voting no on silly ballot measures!
Oh for Pete's sake. Have a little dignity, will you, fren?
Trying to get a good shot for the cover of my new solo album. Does this look say, "I'm a soulful bardo" or "The sun is in my eyes"?
Special shout out to the neighbors, who captured my inner essence with their pumpkin portrait. Ain't tellin which one of these is me. Heh heh heh.
Engaging my heckin stealth mode. No one can see me 'midst these yellow leaves. Watch out, kitties!
A bastion of communism in my very own neighborhood!
Another rainy season, another rubber ducky raincoat. I'd so much rather eat duckies than wear them.
It was super nice of these guys to invite me to join their book club, but I'm not sure it's for me. I'm not really into ghost stories.
This new LED collar is making all my early morning dog park dreams come true! Well, except the one where I sneak up on a squirrel without it noticing.
What Halloween costume? This is what I wear to work.
I think I ran around in this park yesterday, but my memory is a bit foggy...
Damn, the neighbor's cat is really good at hide and seek. I wonder where she went?
I wandered lonely as a cloud/ That floats on high through sun and showers/ When all at once I saw a crowd/ A host of lovely purple flowers/ Beside the road, beneath the trees/ Fluttering and dancing in the Breeze. // Clustered as the stars that troop/ And tumble along the Milky Way/ They rose together in a group/ Along the sidewalk as it lay/ Perhaps ten saw I at a glance/ tossing their heads in sprightly dance // The car beside them sat in park/ while they expressed their joyful glee/ A poet doggo could but bark/ In such a jocund company/ I gazed--and gazed--but little thought/ What wealth the show to me has brought // For oft when in my dog bed I lie/ In vacant or in chasing mood/ They flash upon that inward eye/ Which is the bliss of woofletude/ And then I bestir my doggie powers/ And go to snuffle 'midst the purple flowers.
Did somebody say "lunch"? We are both pretty sure we heard lunch. And also that you should give us your lunch.
It's a tempting offer, fren! But I think I'm doing a pretty heckin good job of sitting without a chair.
Wow, there really is pot all over the place in Portland.
Yeah, you know what's really incredible, Bob? That I'm awake at this hour. Well, sort of awake.
I'm David Woofleborough, and this is Life Amidst Halloween Decorations. Here we see a local porch kitty trying to blend in with some new friends.
No one here bus us pumpkins!
Hooray for you, animal lover fren! And may I suggest that you also volunteer at the Portland SPCT: Society for the Provision of Cookies to Tristan!
Met a like-minded fren today! Don't tell him I pooped on one of his compadres a couple blocks back.
Honk honk! You may be the King of Rock n Roll, Elvis, but I'm the King of Neighborhood Weirdness!
You know, I've heard people say that in Portland the beer grows on trees. But I thought that was just an expression.
Hello, little ray of hope! Heckin floral metaphor for perseverance in dark times. May you manage to grow all the way around the corner to the donut shop.
Oh, for crying out loud, Tree Friend! We're trying to take a serious picture here!
Sorry, Seth. It's true. But I'll be your fren anyway.
The Fountain of Youth! I found it! I shall drink of its waters and remain in my pupper prime, forever. In your face, Ponce de Léon.
Oh boy, the gays love me! I love you, too, gays! You always know how to work a studded collar.
As foundation stories go, this is a pretty exciting one for a community garden. All hail our mermaid, dinosaur, and alien overlords!
It's that time of year again, when the dawn comes passing slow, and I frolick in the meadow neath a melancholy, moon-laden sky.
Hm, seems like a suspiciously steep discount. What've you got in this fridge anyway, fren? If it's a porkchop, you've got a deal!
Met a friendly neighborhood elephant on my walk! Hey, jungle doggo, will you take me for a ride?
Heckin fascinating, fren! Tell me more about your radical new perspective!
How very Portland! Gotta get some dog stencils for my front steps.
I dunno, fren, $5 a bushel seems a little high for concrete carrots. Throw in a little stone cabbage and you got yourself a deal.
Found a little faerie forest growing on a stump! Hang in there, tiny flowers. I'll protect you from harm.
A doggo, a litter box, a pilfered music stand, a baseball glove--and $10 to whoever can guess what happens next.
Oh, thank goodness, I'm almost there! If only I knew where I was going.
Hot dog! This is my kind of walk. Never stop leaving your old furniture on the curb, Portland!
Watch out, Vogue! I've got this awkward-but-sultry pose all worked out for my next cover shoot.
Don't fear the reaper! But do make way for him to cross the street.
"No pooping" in Japanese? Good thing I only know how to poop in English.
Heckin metaphor for the perpetual precarity with which my generation lives.
Ohhh there's a bear on the stair/ And I don't know from where/ But I hope he stays up there/ So I'm trying not to stare!
Found a shrine to the neighborhood deity! Not sure what this religion is, but I'm game.
You ever get the feeling that you're being watched?
Three Volvo hubcaps! It's like a dream come true.
Tried the hoomin pupper chute again. Ended up backwards. Why can't I figure this thing out?
Heckin King of the Park! Behold my mighty scepter. And while you're at it, throw an orb so I can chase it!
Ooh la la! I just love haute cuisine!
Nothing is free and the stairs are "clost"? I wish someone would tell me when I wander into Dadaism.
I'm totally getting in on the digital economy with my new e-collar! What do you mean the "e" doesn't stand for Elizabethan?
What a rude plant! Heckin offense to public decency.
Got myself a little place downtown!
I am so not ready for the SAT.
Oh, please! You've got to do both if you really want to bamboozle the hoomins.
You mean they pay you to stand here and sing to the rose bush? Get outa here! I gotta get a gig like that.
I'm not sure what game this is, but count me in!
Damn! I think I spelled my name wrong.
I didn't manage to get run over by the giant lawnmower, despite my best efforts. So I rolled around in the grass clipping instead! What do y'all think of my fashionable new snoot adornment?
Honored to participate in the elaborate tea ceremony of the Pebble People.
Why yes, I WOULD like to take this bad boy out for a ride! Big Wheel for a big Woofle.
Stumptown family portrait.
Yeah, I don't care how funny a picture it would make. I'm not getting on that thing!
Oh, summer's over and no more visitors are coming? I guess I'll just take over this bed, then. I wouldn't want it to go to waste.
Heck!! Looks like the people who live here got raptured!
I feel this purchase has a lot of potential.
Found a heckin secret message! Too bad I don't know how to tell time or use an inside voice.
When I close my eyes I see swirling geometric patterns... Oh wait, that's just vintage Portland Art Deco.
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?/ Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day/ The sun is up, the sky is blue/ This carousel is here for you/ Dear Prudence, I hope you don't say "neigh."
Jeez, I guess I really better not block the driveway. Look what happened to the last guy.
Hey, no fair! Why do giraffes and rhinos get their own seat? Where is the Woofle Chair just for me?
It is no mean thing, in the course of a morning stroll, to step off the path and discover that the world is filled with magic and wonder.
Once there were parking lots/ Now it's a peaceful oasis/ This was a Pizza Hut/ Now it's all covered with daisies/ I miss the honky tonks/ Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens/ And as things fell apart/ Nobody paid much attention.
Now *this* is how urban doggos run with the pack. Heckin born to be wild!
I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's not how you drive a car.
You ever get the feeling that you're being watched?
Dear Sir or Madam, This is not an authorized parking spot. However, I would be happy to move your car for you and definitely not take it for a joyride up and down the coast. Yours Truly, Tristan the Wonder Dog
Well, I suppose that's one way to make sure your truck doesn't get stolen.
My new best buddy! What a great smile.
Simpsons graffiti? I suppose I should expect no less in Portland.
Oh good, two free cabinets! One for each of my stupid cat siblings to get stuffed in.
Nothing to see here! Just an ordinary baking tin left by the road. It definitely was not full of brownies when I got here, and I definitely did not eat them.
Keeping my bone close as I dream of our future together. London, Paris, Vienna, Frank's Sausage Shack—we'll pee on them all.
Made it up the stairs at Mount Tabor Park! Pretty sure I deserve some treats now.
Found a good resting place for my snoot. Perfect for springing into action! Who wants to play ball?
Doin a heckin Sistine Chapel with my brother!
Heckin eltin gin this heat. Send ice cream!
Looks like this tree branch took out the Hippie Witch of the West! Heckin relief.
"Don't wear out your sweater," Mom tells me. "They don't exactly grow on trees." Shows how much she knows.
Well, I wasn't going to say anything. But now that you mention it, you gossipy flower: yeah, I do think maybe the neighbor lady should reconsider those lime green hot pants.
Tree Friend, I refuse to believe you've planted tiny bigots in your garden. TURNIPS, maybe? Heckin word salad semiotic confusion.
Awesome!!! Do I have to take it home, or can I just roll around in it for a while?
I take a walk/ The sun is shining down/ Burns my feet as they touch the ground/ I feel good/ In a special way/ I'm a dog and it's a sunny day!
A rose is a rose is my nose.
I think these flowers want to sniff me as much as I want to sniff them! But I wonder, what's their policy on peeing?
The chemical formula for hammer time!
Different city, different couch, same BFF!
Heckin quality time with my besties!
A festive new bed just for me! Now if I can only get into it...
Fairest plaster mer-lady, though I dare not disturb your slumber, might this humble squire join you in your splendrous lagoon? It's heckin hot out here.
Can neither confirm nor deny that I tagged this dumpster. Heh heh heh.
Simple flowers for a simple mind.
I admire your pizzazz my friend. But I'm just not that much of a morning person.
Oh boy oh boy, the Portland trash economy is answering all of my 80s dreams!
"The Woofle and the Pussy-cat went to sea/ In a beautiful pea-green boat/ They took some kibble, and plenty of nibbles/ Wrapped up in a five-pound note./ The Woofle looked up to the streetlights above/ And sang to a small kazoo/ O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love/ What a beautiful Pussy are you!"((Do you think she's buying it?))
I know she's just a sidewalk lion... But I love her.
Finally, something for me in the mail! Can't wait to read the feature article on bad dogs who are goo don the inside!
Uh oh, looks like I better call my bookie...
A little patch of wildflower heaven right here in my neighborhood! Doin me a heckin delight.
Sometimes I get the strangest feeling that I'm being watched.
Hanging out with my new buddy Cap!
First "swim" in years! No thank you, I would not like to go out past where I can stand.
Met a kindred spirit at the park! Send more frisbees, plz.
How did I get such a vivid pink tongue, you ask? I'll get back to you after I chomp up these flowers.
Grab the frisbee! Go head, grab it! I definitely won't snatch it away and run off like a maniac. I promise. (Heh heh heh.)
Chicken crossing... RIGHT INTO MY MOUTH! Hahahahaha!!
Surely they don't mean me!
I'll take one! Wonder if they can make mine a coyote.
Heckin most effective fencing ever!
I made a new friend! I'm so thrilled! Aren't you thrilled? Don't you think he's thrilled, too??
Can't deal with what's going on right now. Call me when we stop torturing refugees and their children.
Today on "Weirdest house colors of Portland": regurgitated pesto! A+ for unique sense of style!
That's right, hoomins, come and go as you like. I'll be watching you from above.
Volunteered for neighborhood watch and got sent to the house of these two fine lookin ladies. Should I go talk to them? Do I tell them this is a bust?
Put me in, coach! I got hoop dreams!
Yes! Someone has finally recognized my regal bearing and offered a throne for me to enjoy.
Hahaha "Death and taxes," I don't get it, I have no concept of either of those things.
Summer weather seems to be bringing on some heckin enormous buggos. Doin me a concern!
Whatever it is I'm not supposed to be doing, I'm definitely not doing it! This is my innocent face!
Thanks, sign! I think you're doing great, too.
Okay! From now on, only one cookie!
Made a new fren in my neighborhood! Meeting a bear seems like an auspicious start to Pride Month.
Uh oh. I only know how to sit. Can I still get a lemonade, tho?
If you liked it then you shoulda done a SIT on it!
Definitely gonna chew on this big heckin stick I found! Just gotta open my mouth a little wider...
This must be where the hoomins hang up their children to dry.
Found me a sparkly new friend at the park! We're gonna put together a double act for RuPaul's Dog Race.
Put me in, coach! I brought my own equipment and everything! I love sportsball.
This garden has everything, even a stop sign! I wonder how you get one of those to grow.
Heckin saddest birthday party ever.
Homage to Gertrude Stein.
Iris I was an Oscar Meyer wiener (dog)! Hahahahaha tip your waitress!
International star of stage and screen, Dr. Tristan Woofleberg, pictured here at home in a completely unstaged, casual moment.
Don't mind if I do! Where's the pond?
Closing my eyes and hoping for a Huxleyesque revelation.
Omgosh I finally found out where Dippin' Dots come from! Heckin tree-grown ice cream of the future.
I hate it when no one tells you it's gonna be a theme party.
I declare the Dog Days of Summer officially open!
Such an expressive face! If only we knew what he was trying to say.
Hanging out in Forest Park with beloved Misha!
In honor of Prince, standing under this tree waiting for it to release a heckin purple rain on my head.
This seems unfair. I'm doing my best, intellectually.
Greetings, tiniest doggo. Hold still, Ima give you a kiss.
You go on without me. I'm just going to lie here a little bit longer until...zzzzzzz.
Paradise at the pupper park.
At the experimental dog ballet.
Dr. Woofleberg reporting! Let me just check your records. I think *you're* the one who needs a rabies shot.
Every king must wear the purple according to his own lights.
Hanging out with my Baba! I wonder if she tastes like chicken?
Don't worry, little lost duckie. I'll give you a good home. Heh heh heh.
Such delicate butterfly blossoms! I'm totally holding in a sneeze.
No, you come over HERE, swim doggos! I don't wanna get my feet wet.
It makes no difference if you're a pug or a lab/ If your fur's shaggy or curled/ If the music's pumping it will give you new life/ You're a superstar, yes, that's what you are, you know it/ Come on, dogue!
All the colors of the heckin rainbow!
Pretty sure there's a fairytale that starts with me walking through this gate.
If only I were a red Rover, the color scheme would be complete.
Tulip season! (Dog lips available for smooches year round.)
Doin a heckin Salvador Dalí with this stick! Anyone got some cats and a bucket of water?
I have absolutely nothing to do with this. Я ни на что не жалуюсь и мне все нравится, не смотря на то, что я здесь никогда не был и не знаю ничего об этих местах.
Yep, I got this small hoomin thing down! I'm totally fitting in!
Hey, batter batter batter! Swim, batter batter batter!
Hey! Hey, water doggos! Quack doggos! Come over here! I just wanna talk, I promise.
I don't get what Peter the Great was talking about. This doesn't seem that useful.
Really pitchy, Carol. You're a talented singer, but you ned to work on placing those notes in the high register. You feel me?
You say it's called a steeple-what now?
Anyone else see this heckin flyin saucer? No? Just me? Okay then, guess I better play it cool.
Pan-African shrubbery! How very Portlandia.
Rockin the heckin two-tone look.
Someone call home and tell them I'll be late for dinner. Gotta win this heckin staring contest.
A plague on both my houses! Happy Passover!
Gonna be a chase-my-ball, roll-in-the-grass, tongue-out kinda day!
Tbt the cover of the folk rock album I put out in the 60s.
Ever so carefully placed.
Geese! Hey, geese! I smell you over there! Stop playing golf and come hang out with me!
Raining roses (but will it rain men next?)
Subtly expressing my allegiance to Coldplay.
Doin me a heckin Frieda Kahlo.
Damned if it isn't spring all of a sudden.
Area dog appreciates area lawn sculpture.
His majesty, with queen and courtiers.
Well, this limbo contest didn't go quite as planned.
Feelings for a faux forest doggo.
No, I have no idea who ripped the mailbox out of the wall. But I bet it's the mailman's fault, really.
Is it baseball season yet?
Into the wild snowy yonder.
Snow flurries --> another episode of The Invisible Snorting Doggo Show.
Not a chance, Parks & Rec.
In the land of lost tennis balls, every dog is king.
Puzzled by a Pac-Man tree on this foggy morn.
Uncertain about the meaning of this secret message, our hero focuses on trying to look busy.
And that's when I heard it, the truly ear-raising screech of... The Squirrel!
O brave new world, that has such Woofles in 't!
I'm wooooofling in the rain! Just wooooofling in the rain! What a glorious feeling, I'm muddy again!
Where did the small hoomins go?
All in all, you're just another dog in the wall.
Found myself amidst some geometric shrubbery. Am afraid they will make me do math. Please send help.
Yep, I think I see yer problem right here. It'll be $500, parts and labor.
You never know what might sprout up around the roots after a night of rain.
Current mood: not a fan of Spider-Man.
Hey, cat! Hey, cat! Over here, cat! Why are you hiding? I don't think he sees me.
I think we may have a "2001: A Space Odyssey" situation on our hands here...
King of the castle! Power is delicious.
How embarrassing, they misspelled "barking."
Listening to the wisdom of this surprisingly chatty tree.
Now playing: Front Window, starring Tristan the Wonder Dog.
Area branch manager is on the job.
So this is why the laundry takes so long to dry.
Don't look now, but is that a bear? Anyone know a body-positive gay bar we can call to come pick him up?
Kisses for a Christmas pig!
I wonder if these are the droids I'm looking for?
Now is the summer of our discontent/ Made glorious autumn by this son of dog;/ And all the clouds that lour upon our house/ In the deep bosom of the leaves buried./ Now are our haunches bound with victorious ducks;/ Our chewed bones hung up for monuments:/ Our stern barkings changed to merry sniffings,/ Our dreadful marches to delightful walkies.
Portal to another, more soulful dimension.
Dreaming of the one who got away.
This looks like a good place for my snoot.
Closing my eyes tight and pretending I have a new brother.
You must be this tall to chase motorcycles down the street.
Contemplating the infinite, with witch and disembodied hands.
Not gonna lie, I'm a little jealous of this tree's fabulous fur.
I don't know who sneezed and blew all the leaves off this bush, but it definitely wasn't me.
Foolish sign. No one can leash Tristan the Wonder Dog!
Daaaahling, the leaves here are simply divine!
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come...
Hello! Is it me you're looking for?
Strange encounters on the morning jaunt.
Color study: grey sky, green tree, yellow doggo.
Looking back, I just laughed. The boulevard is not that bad.
Less than thrilled with my new ducky raincoat.
Ask not what Woofles can do for you, but what you can do for Woofles. (Hint: It involves a Milkbone.)
Who you calling strange? Surely not me.
The loan goalie waits patiently at his post.
Some people like a dancer in the dark. I prefer a boxer in the park.
O magical Portlandtree, send me thy plentiful squirrels!
What kind of doggo are you, fren?
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
Is this... am I doing it right? I don't get how it works. Why is this considered fun?
Contemplating the sun on a post-eclipse early morn.
Anticipating a faerie kingdom on the other side of this tunnel.
I know you're in here somewhere, squirrel!
So this is my chair, right?
Another day, another giant flowering thing to pose with.
I close my eyes and dream of cats...
It's so hot out, I can't even get into bed.
At the bark park with my hoomin!
Moving is stressful! This is how we cope!
Early morning walk in my favorite park.
Sun in Portland? This is going to take some getting used to.
Well, darned if I didn't come home to find the building suddenly painted green, and harboring a suspicious looking cat.
The Flower King in his domain.
Omgosh it's finally sunny out!
I don't know what to write my paaaaaper about! And I only have one leg! Can I get an extension?
Not that I'm not having a delightful time at the vet and all, but is this the way out?!
You want to take ANOTHER picture? Fine: nyaaaaaahhh I'm sticking my tongue out!
First roll of the spring!
I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille.
I'll take this bed. You can have the dog bed in the living room, ok?
Wait, come back, aquatic doggos! I just wanna talk.
As long as all the toys have a place to sleep, my job is done.
Yeah, but you shoulda seen the other guy...
Listening to the call of the wild.
Sorry, can't watch the Oscars, busy playing Origami Dog.
Squinting through the Fog of Woof.
What's a podcast and why is it taking so long? I'm read to go NOW.
When big dogs decide they're lap dogs.
Not amused to be wearing the t-rex socks again.
Get it together, Portland. This weather is really not that bad.
My comment on the impending inauguration.
Hanging with my buddy Fitz. He's a weirdo, but I still love him.
The Lady of the Lake has seen better days.
Not impressed by hipster trees.
When Fitz comes to stay, it can only mean one thing: time to steal his wee little bed.
Feeling skeptical about Halloween.
Had a little trouble with pulling out my stitches.
The Elizabethan collar weights especially heavy on the soul of one who considers himself more properly Edwardian.
I'm sure I can figure out how to work this thing. Let me just sniff it a little more.